✍️ Hooking Readers Through Curiosity (Like a fish, but without the bloodshed)

This month, I have focused on giving you tips to help grab your reader’s attention, and keep it, in the first pages. 

The reason for this is that when a reader is new to you, you don’t have time to set the stage, build your world, or indulge us in backstory. Readers don’t want to invest in something that they aren’t sure will pay off. 

The original version of my novel Taken by His Sword that I sent to agents was 115k words and it started with a three chapter description of how FMC Alex, at 8 years old, came to the home of Phillipe (future MMC) and his family as a ward. I gave her time to grow up and fall in love with not only swordfighting (which defined her character) but also the slightly older Philippe who would break her heart and spur her to run away and become a mercenary. While it was all very cool, it took waaaaaay too long to get to the adult relationship.

Agents didn’t want it. Publishers sent it back.

The reason? As an unestablished romance author, no one was going to invest in my story long enough to see if there was a pay off.  I knew there was a payoff (and WHAT a payoff!), but promising an agent or publisher don’t worry it gets better, is not enough to keep them reading.  They don’t have the time, energy, or interest. 

So what’s a new author with an amazing story supposed to do? 

Keep your reader curious.

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Small, repeatable actions are the secret to finishing your manuscript.

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Small Tweaks = Big Impact

Chances are you have been (or you will be) rewriting your first chapter more than any other section of your novel. Why? It’s significant. It has to catch attention, launch the story, and make a promise of what is to come. 

First, here are my collected tips for the month, with a preview of the next two. 

1. BIte-Size-Chunks - readers who are new to you won’t invest in long, sweeping paragraphs. Keep chapters short and paragraphs manageable. 

2. 50 Word Paragraphs - Keep the first five paragraphs of your novel at about 50 words. This encourages readers to stay engaged long enough to get into your style and story. 

3. Don’t Hide the Conflict - put your conflict (or related conflict) in the first 300 words. Just. Do. It. Don’t make the reader wait. 

4. Limit Characters - It takes a minute for readers to be able to distinguish characters. Don’t overload your first chapter. No more than 3 characters we have to know. 

Overall message: As writers, we are pretty good at creating worlds. The only problem is we often feel like a reader needs to know everything about our world and characters before they can invest in our characters. That’s not true.

Remember: The first chapter is about building curiosity. 

That’s it. Hint at things. Don’t explain. Create curiosity.

Breakdown

The first chapter of your story should be whittled down into need to know information paired with your unique voice and storytelling style. Focus on information the reader must have and cut everything else out. If you find that something is missing as you continue writing, you can always add to it later. 

Here are some MUST HAVEs for Chapter One.

1. Setting - try to capture the setting in 1 sentence within the first or second paragraph. It needs to set time, place, and if your world is real or fantasy. Don’t take a paragraph to describe the setting. Instead, intersperse setting details as you move the plot and set the tone. Example: “Cherish laughed, the red and gold leaves of the autumn orchard shimmying around her, just before they unfurled into clumsy birds and flew away.”

2. Character - Introduce at least 1 main character. Don’t get into the head of a minor character yet unless it is absolutely necessary (and it probably isn’t). Give brief physical description with any unique qualities right up front to help the reader picture the character unless you intend it as a reveal. In a romance, include hair color and eye color. 

3. Conflict - We need that conflict immediately. It may not be the full conflict (often the characters haven’t quite discovered what they are up against, yet) but it should be related to the main conflict.  

4. Dialogue - Use dialogue to reveal character and break up narration. You can also get some backstory or other exposition in if you are clever with your dialogue. Speaking of backstory…

5. Backstory conflict- Readers need to know that something happened in the past, but LIMIT BACKSTORY. For real. No more than one sentence of backstory! We should know that something is lurking in their past, but keep it down to absolute need-to-know. Example: Cherish picked up her scimitar and looked back over the fern-tendriled hills. This time she would make it. “Hold it, boys!” she cried. “I’m joining.”

   
   

Okay, now let’s do this: The First LINE

The first line of your story should display character, place, emotions, and conflict. There are a bazillion ways to do this. If you can’t come up with something that is sticking try this: 

Character name + Action + in the [place] + while feeling ?

Cherish DeLoncre cut down the hank of meat from her family’s stall at the edge of the market, unsure if she had enough bravery left in her to join the men setting out for the raid. 

• Character Name: Cherish DeLoncre

• Action: Cutting down a hank of meat

• Setting: A market stall, indicates not of this time

• Feeling: Formerly brave, wants to go on a raid, but unsure

  
  

Let’s put these paragraphs together:

Cherish DeLoncre cut down the hank of meat from her family’s stall at the edge of the market which sat along the orchard, unsure if she had enough bravery left in her to join the men setting out for the raid.

“Ay, Cherish, you coming?” said Klyne, her oldest friend and most recent enemy. 

She turned and dipped her hands into the rain barrel, rinsing the gristle from her fingers. The water shimmered with little orbs of light that disappeared when she blinked, leaving only the wavy reflection of her bright blue eyes. She shook her head, to herself first, then to Klyne. “This one is yours,” she said. “I owe ya.”

Klyne scoffed and turned, stomping past with the rest of the men, past the trees and into the hearty grasses. “You used to have more in ya.”

It was true. A short while ago she would have been fighting Klyne to lead the raid herself. But then Klyne had lost his hand while Cherysh had been unscathed, with nothing more than singed tips to her already fiery red hair.

If he could still be brave, still continue as though nothing had changed, so could she. Cherish let out a laugh, feeling suddenly lighter, the red and gold leaves of the autumn orchard shimmying around her, just before they unfurled into clumsy birds and flew away. 

In a flash of resolve, Cherish picked up her scimitar and looked back over the fern-tendriled hills. This time she would make it. “Hold it, boys!” she cried. “I’m joining.”

There is a lot of curiosity raised in this section:

• What happened to Cherish’s bravery?

• How did Klyne go from being a friend to an enemy? What does she owe him?

• Is she responsible for his injury?

• What about the setting? Is this fantasy or is this just how Cherish sees the world? 

  
  

What do we know?

• Cherish is a main character. We know this because we are in her head 

• We have a general idea of what she looks like (hair and eyes)

• We know we are not in modern/contemporary setting

• We know Klyne has sustained an injury (missing hand)

• There is a backstory between the characters, but it’s minimally explained

  
  

PS I just wrote that RIGHT NOW as I’m writing this newsletter. I have no ideas about direction or what would happen. However, notice that the paragraphs are short, setting is interspersed, we get a sense of Klyne and Cherish as characters, and there is conflict. There is a lot that I can get into as I move forward. Hopefully I would have engaged the reader enough to keep them going.  

The Final Word

Write your first chapter however you think it should be. But consider these tips because when you submit or publish the agent/publisher/reader will be looking for all these elements, either consciously or subconsciously. 

One day, when you have an established audience (and if you keep writing you will) you can let the narrative unfold a little more slowly. Until then, keep things short, to the point, and full of curiosity. 

Your Turn

This week, go through your first chapter of your current work in progress. Determine your need-to-know information and pull out any other description that can wait. If possible, print it out and highlight what has to stay and what can go. This is a powerful visual.

If you haven’t started your story yet, write your first five paragraphs. Focus on one character, have them say something outloud, do something physical, hint at previous trauma, and acknowledge current conflict. 

You’ve got this!Florence